Tuesday, September 22, 2009


I was just reading about misunderstood personality types in the September/October issue of Psychology Today Magazine (http://www.psychologytoday.com/) and had an "aha" moment. On personality tests I typically score as an extrovert, but I could SWEAR I’m really more introverted. In fact, I usually refer to myself as an “extroverted introvert.” When I mention this to friends, they laugh out loud. I know, I know…I SEEM outgoing when I’m with people, but I’m really kind of a loner. How else could I have survived 20 years as a freelance writer holed up in my home office????
Anyway, I just read that there are “bubbly introverts” out there, people who love socializing but actually crave alone time just as much. "Having good social skills isn’t the same thing as wanting to be around people all the time,” writes Jay Dixit in the piece (a sidebar on page 71 if you're looking!). Don’t get me wrong—I love my friends, I love parties, I love socializing. But in limited doses. Then it's back to my books and movies! I feel so validated!
Other misunderstood types:
“Shy extroverts,” people who love being around others but are shy and may come across as cold, aloof, or stuck up.
"Accidental flirts,” people who are so naturally flirtatious that others may think they’re coming on to them when they really just mean to be friendly. (I love to flirt!)
"Effeminate heterosexuals,” those metrosexuals who come off a little feminine but are very straight.
Any other misunderstood types out there?


Sheryl K. said...


I have finally discovered myself, too...and I love the words, "extroverted introvert." Perfect! I love parties, friends, etc., BUT enough is enough. I can only absorb so much, and then I crave alone time. And conversely, if I have too much alone time, I crave people.

Nancy Monson said...

Sounds healthy to me, Sheryl!

Frugal Kiwi said...

I'm a VERY strong introvert. Seriously introverted, no doubt about it. Being around other people wears me out. The highest compliment I've paid to my man is saying that being with him is "like being alone, but better!"

But like the Harvard professor in the article, if you asked the university students I teach about me, they would almost certainly say I'm highly extraverted as they only see me in a classroom context. I put on a good show, but that is exactly what it is - not my natural state.