I recently read the Geography of Bliss by NPR journalist Eric Weiner, a fascinating travelogue highlighting some of the happiest and unhappiest cultures around the world (www.ericweinerbooks.com) , and A Brief History of Anxiety [Yours and Mine] by Patricia Pearson, a look at the rise of anxiety in the US and elsewhere (www.pearsonspost.com). Here are two key things I learned about being happy and healthy:
Embrace experimentation. According to Weiner, the people of Iceland are among the happiest in the world. The key reasons: It’s a homogenous society, so there’s little racial or ethnic conflict, and it’s a socialist country, so their basic needs are met (universal health care anyone?). Most tellingly, in Iceland, people are allowed to try things and actually fail at them. They don’t have to be huge successes to feel good about themselves. (Icelanders also drink a lot, Weiner says, and that helps to better accept failures and keep them warm during the cold, dark winters!)
Lose your illusion of being in control. Many people living in poor cultures are happier and less anxious than Americans because they don’t expect success. They actually expect life to be hard. Pearson writes…“The other day my Mexican-born psychiatrist offered me his opinion that what drives anxiety in the Western world is the coveted illusion that we can be in control. Latin Americans, he argued, are bracingly accustomed to injustice and to toil and have no ‘fantasy’ that fate is in their hands.” They just accept hurricanes and other misfortunes as an inevitable part of life, and work to have the pleasure and freedom of spending time with their friends and family. To a great extent, we here in American believe we can mold our lives down to the very last detail and when that doesn't happen, we get stressed-out and anxious.
Embrace experimentation. According to Weiner, the people of Iceland are among the happiest in the world. The key reasons: It’s a homogenous society, so there’s little racial or ethnic conflict, and it’s a socialist country, so their basic needs are met (universal health care anyone?). Most tellingly, in Iceland, people are allowed to try things and actually fail at them. They don’t have to be huge successes to feel good about themselves. (Icelanders also drink a lot, Weiner says, and that helps to better accept failures and keep them warm during the cold, dark winters!)
Lose your illusion of being in control. Many people living in poor cultures are happier and less anxious than Americans because they don’t expect success. They actually expect life to be hard. Pearson writes…“The other day my Mexican-born psychiatrist offered me his opinion that what drives anxiety in the Western world is the coveted illusion that we can be in control. Latin Americans, he argued, are bracingly accustomed to injustice and to toil and have no ‘fantasy’ that fate is in their hands.” They just accept hurricanes and other misfortunes as an inevitable part of life, and work to have the pleasure and freedom of spending time with their friends and family. To a great extent, we here in American believe we can mold our lives down to the very last detail and when that doesn't happen, we get stressed-out and anxious.
Pearson argues that we should stop looking for reasons for why things happen to us and just accept the “cruel randomness of fate.”
Harsh words or sound advice? I fall in the latter camp (divorce will teach you that). How about you?
Next on my reading list: Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You by psychologist Sam Gosling, PhD.
