Being creative every day feels good!

I went to the Vermont Quilt Festival (VQF) last weekend, where I entered my “Quilt On!” mixed media scrapbook quilt in the show, only the second time I’ve had the nerve to do that. The quilt didn’t have to meet any judges’ requirements to get in (they allowed the first 200 that applied to be shown)—but it was judged by a panel of three. I got an 84, 81, and 79 out of 100 points. Not too bad. The judges said my piece was fun (yes!) but it needed more quilting. I don’t disagree—I just didn’t feel like doing it. My goal was to make something simple and get my confidence and desire to quilt back. I felt good that none of them said it was a disaster construction-wise. I'm always worried about that because I have a hard time with piecing accurately.

Over the past couple of years, I think I’ve been stymied by my desire to expand my wings. I design quilts that I have NO IDEA how to construct, so I get stuck. I am so overwhelmed by what to do next and all the projects I want to do that I do nothing (sounds like the men I date).

Anyway, at VQF I came to the conclusion that I will never be a master quilter. Don’t laugh. That was once my goal. But I know I’ll never have the patience, skill or vision of a Barb Olson, Margaret Miller, Ricky Tims or Susan Balch. And I’m learning to be okay with that. In fact, I think it’s inspired me anew.

I took another class with Barb Olson at VQF and it was simpler than the previous class I’d taken in April (bigger pieces to glue and appliqué!) and I was familiar with the technique this time. It’s also a dramatic flower (which I’ll show you somewhere down the line when it’s more finished), which I loved. She calls it “Wild Child.” As soon as I got home, I started working on it:
1) Because I was psyched to design it. It was FUN!
2) I left my sewing table folded out and my fabric everywhere. I just spread it all out throughout my dining room and let my housekeeping go to hell.
3) I can take 10 minutes here and there to work on the piece. Once I start to get frustrated or my sewing machine gums up, I stop.

Over the past week, I've finished all five petals and I’ve felt really good mentally—and I know it’s because I’m quilting.

It’s amazing how good it feels to be creative everyday--don't you think?

What to say...

My sister and I just heard that an old family friend had died. We bought a condolence card, and were faced with the dilemma of what to write. How to express our sympathy and offer encouragement in the saddest of times? Just by chance, I came across a short article I'd written on the topic. It helped me, so thought I'd share it...

Composing Tough-to-write Sympathy Notes...

When a friend experiences a significant loss--a loved one dies, she miscarries, she gets divorced, she gets sick, she loses her job--what do you say to her? How do you let your friend know you care without being patronizing, unintentionally insensitive (by saying too little) or offering cliches? According to Rosalie Maggio, author of Great Letters for Every Occasion, you walk a fine line, but the biggest mistake is ignoring the loss. In situations where someone has died or been the victim of a big misfortune (a fire, flood, burglary, violent crime, job loss, a miscarriage), not sending a letter is worse than sending a misguided one, she says.

Here, some tips on WHAT TO DO:

Acknowledge the loss and mention the deceased person by name (or specify the misfortune). Recipients are already in pain and they don’t want that to be ignored, says Maggio.

Express your feelings of grief, dismay and loss in an honest and clear manner. Don’t use euphemisms such as “left this life,” “the dear departed” or “gone to a better life.” Instead, write “died” or “miscarried.”

Be brief. “A lengthy letter can be overwhelming in a time of grief,” she says.

Mention what you particularly liked about the deceased.

End with a general expression of concern or affection, such as “you are in my thoughts.”

WHAT NOT TO DO:
Don't go overboard in expressing how you feel about the loss—saying “I was devastated. I start crying every time I think of him.”

Don’t use overly dramatic language (“the worst tragedy I ever heard of”).

Don’t use well-meaning but hurtful clichés, false cheerfulness and optimistic platitudes.

Don’t discuss your religious views or philosophy of death or loss unless you know the recipient shares your views.

Creative bravery

Creativity bravery is the essence of good art--don't you think?

The risk, of course, is that you expose your deepest feelings, thoughts, and values to the ridicule, judgment, and misinterpretation of others. But that's why you do your work for yourself and yourself alone. It’s only when you can push away your shame, fear, and insecurities and say with confidence, “I don’t care what anyone else thinks, I’m going to do this my way,” that you can let fly what lies within and create something that is truly unique, truly expressive of you, and ultimately truly healing.

Still, it’s not easy to put yourself out there and keep at it.

There’s a great little book on developing creative bravery: It’s called “Art and Fear: Observations on the Perils (and Rewards) of Artmaking” by David Bayles and Ted Orland. I read it frequently, underlining new passages each time. It has so many inspiring pearls of wisdom in it!

When I’m feeling bad that one of my projects isn’t panning out the way I planned, for instance, I think of their counsel that “vision is always ahead of execution.” Or that “In a general way, fears about yourself prevent you from doing your best work, while fears about your reception by others prevent you from doing your own work.”

As Mary Tyler Moore has been quoted as saying…”It’s none of my business what anyone else thinks of me.” Your creativity is FOR YOU.

Finding your creative strengths

The "newish" field of positive psychology says that instead of focusing on our neuroses and weaknesses, we should focuses on our strengths—what we’re good at.

An aside: If you want to measure you character strengths, go to http://www.viastrengths.org/ and take the VIA Survey of Character, developed by esteemed positive psychology experts. It takes close to half an hour to finish the test--but besides getting immediate, free feedback on your five most notable personality strengths, you'll be contributing to research on the topic. (You can also opt for a briefer test called the VIA Survey of Strengths, which has only 24 questions.)

But back to creativity: If you’re feeling frustrated about your creative work, focusing on your strengths may help turn your attitude around.

My creative strength is color. My sister says that I often take the loudest and even most clashing colors and designs and make them work together in a quilt. I do this mostly by intuition or “feel.” All I know is what I am attracted to…

I also do best with simple techniques...so recently I boosted my confidence by making a back-to-basics quilt composed of squares and circles, buttons and embellishments.

What’s your creative strength? Find it and build on it!

Volunteer for my stress study and earn $25!

ARE YOUR STRESSED OUT?

Do you want to participate in a crafts and wellness study—and earn $25 AT HOME!?

It requires a 1-hour commitment per day for 1 week. You must be 18 or older to participate.

Please contact Nancy Monson, study leader, via email at nancymonson@earthlink.net or by calling 203-556-8698 for more information and to apply.

Creativity and the perimenopausal brain

I don’t know how Hillary Clinton does it—how she keeps her energy up to travel the world and her intellect sharp enough to shape international policy.

Half the time I can’t even remember what I’m supposed to be doing.

My brain is awash (or not, as the case may be) in perimenopausal hormones. I hear new moms have a similar dilemma—their brains turn to mush!

I have trouble concentrating. I get irritable and jittery out of the blue. I feel sad. It’s a hormone party for one.

The only positive is that I’m told by experts that midlife is a creative high point for many people, so I’m hoping the brain fog leads to a clearer picture as I move through menopause. One can only hope!

Any of you out there experiencing this?

Creative Intelligence

I was talking to quilter Barb Olson (http://www.barbolsonquiltart.com/) about my book Craft to Heal and she mentioned that she believes in the concept of creative intelligence. You know, just like we have intrinsic or booksmart intelligence (IQ) and emotional intelligence, we also have creative intelligence (CI). Likewise, you can refine and hone your creative intelligence with practice and perseverance just like you can your other intelligence quotients.

Some of us are born with more CI than others, just like we have higher IQs, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn to be more creative. Part of it is attitude, I think—you have to be open to it, let yourself relax so your mind can surf to new possibilities.

As fabric artist Diane Ericson (www.dianeericson.com) told me, ““Creativity isn’t what you do once or twice a week—it’s the way you approach your life. Everyone is creative, but some people have been nurtured and some haven’t. You have to own your creativity, develop it, grow it, like a garden.”

Here are some ways to hone that creative intelligence:

--Consider yourself a creative person in every day and every way.
--Write down, draw, or audiotape stray thoughts and dreams. These are the seeds of great ideas—and they are often lost just before or after sleep, after the shower, or in the rush of the day.
--Keep a journal of your inspirations, advises creativity coach Gail McMeekin (www.creativesuccess.com). Carry the journal with you to write down ideas as they come to you…while you’re out shopping, at a museum or talking with a friend. Or carry a small sketchbook to draw things you see or to carry swatches of fabric you like or are using in a current project.
--Make an excitement list, says Gail, so you can follow your fascinations. What are you attracted to and what turns your creative fire on? That is where you begin. Creativity is about experimentation, and you have to be willing to try things and then reroute them until you get the right formula.
--Relax yourself, encourages Sue Bender, author of the book Stretching Lessons: The Daring That Starts from Within. “At the beginning of any new challenge we encounter obstacles, confusion and doubts,” she writes. “That’s natural. But when we allow the rigidity within us to begin to melt, we allow our soul to grow…we’re inviting our soul to grow wings.”
--Make “artist dates” with yourself, advises creativity guru Julia Cameron, author of the must-have book in this area The Artist’s Way (www.theartistsway.com). She suggests setting aside time on a weekly basis—something like 2 hours a week—to nurture your inner artist. The date, which is only with yourself and should be solitary in nature—might consist of going to a museum or gallery, to the beach at sunrise or sunset or out to listen to music at a local club.
--Have faith in your abilities. Persevere in your craft because you love it, and whether you ever become a master crafter or not, it will bring joy back to you ten-fold.